Who is Andrea L. Cooks?
Andrea L. Cooks is a certified Abundant Life Coach. She specializes in supporting people through difficult heartbreaks and life transitions (such as loss of a love one, divorce or breakups), so they can clearly navigate and strategize a path to healing and living their abundant life
health, wealth, love, peace, and purpose.
Andrea spent nearly 20 years as a Human Factors Engineer where she spent the majority of her career designing and improving systems and processes based on her knowledge and understanding of human behavior, but shifted her focus on helping people heal and redesign their life, after experiencing her own life traumas. Through her passion and expertise in human behavior and using proven coaching techniques she will help you to discover new ways to heal your broken heart and REDESIGN YOUR LIFE so that you can LIVE ABUNDANTLY!
andrea will help you to discover new ways to heal your broken heart and REDESIGN your life so that you can live abundantly.
When I tell people I’ve been divorced twice, had multiple miscarriages, survived a blended family, filed bankruptcy…. and I still have a smile on my face, they look at me like I’m crazy. However, it can be done and you can heal and recover after heartbreak and divorce and come out stronger. My story is like many other women who as a young girl, I had dreams of the perfect wedding, family, kids, and home. I could see the white picket fence every time I closed my eyes. However, I quickly learned that life is not a fairytale and that prince charming is not waiting around the corner waiting to save and love me. However, I did find out that there is much more to life than the fairytale we were told. The challenges I’ve faced has led to one my greatest lessons…. that the most painful experiences in your life can provide an opportunity to birth something beautiful.
After my second divorce, I was a single mom who felt broken, exhausted, alone, and purposeless. I began to ask myself, “How did I get here?” After years of low self-esteem, a constant need to be accommodating to others, it was time for me to say enough is enough! Through my healing and awakening process, I finally gained insights that has allowed me to take my power back, trust and believe in myself, find and receive authentic connections, and to STOP letting my fears control my life. I now follow “My 3 Golden Rules”:
Own my own happiness
Challenge my own story
Enjoy the journey
Now, my passion is to help guide others through this process of healing and empowerment and getting to the other side.
There is Victory on the other side!
do any of these describe you?
Have you recently gone through or are going through a major break-up or divorce?
Have you been cheated on and don’t know what to do?
Are you desperately trying to get over your ex, but nothing seems to work?
Have you been divorced for years, but still feel stuck?
Did you find out that the side chick is now in your child’s life?
Do you feel alone and can’t figure out how to move on to the next phase of your life?
Redesign Your Life…
It’s not too late to Live Abundantly…
Life has a way of stopping us in our tracks. As children we dream of our grown-up life and for many of us, it never seems to turn out like we imagine. There are many things that can cause our hearts to break, the loss of a loved one, a major break-up or divorce, or it can be caused from disappointment, betrayal or a change from known surroundings. But although Heartbreak happens, we can overcome it….
Divorce and break-ups are a major cause of heartbreak!
No one gets married with the expectation that it will not last forever, so when it happens it can hit you like a ton of bricks. However, I am here to assure you that divorce DOES NOT have to be the end. Divorce can shake your security and confidence and leave you feeling alone and vulnerable, not knowing who or what to trust. You feel worried, and if you have children you want to be assured that they will be okay.
Going through a break-up or divorce is never easy and there is a reason it is considered one of the most stressful events you can go through in life, second only to the death of a loved one. It is not only a death of a dream, but can physically and emotionally tear a family apart leaving individuals (men, women, and children) broken and scarred. I know this due to my own personal experience with divorce as a child, when my parents divorced and as an adult when my own marriages ended.
During the divorce you will experience significant changes in your life, but those changes can be the beginning of something great…
Work with me … before, during or after your break-up or heartbreak … to gain the tools and support you need to not only survive divorce but to thrive… There is Victory on the other side…
My work with you as your coach is customized to your specific needs and timing. It’s not therapy, but our work together is milestone based. At the end of each session, we’ll agree on next steps, who’s doing what and how much time is needed until our next meeting. And don’t worry, if you have a question or a concern in between our meetings, I’m available to support you…
Today, you can begin writing a new chapter as you REDESIGN your life after HEARTBREAK. You NEW life is waiting on you….It’s time to Live Abundantly
My goal is to give you your power back and start a new movement when it comes to divorce. A movement that changes divorce from the ugly and painful fight leaving individuals destroyed to a graceful and intentional process that leaves you empowered and families restored.
No one should go through heartbreak alone.
Divorce is a chapter in your life story – it isn’t the end of the story. Today, you can begin writing a new chapter as you step into your life after divorce waiting on you.
One-on-One Personal Coaching
Course: Redesign Your Life After Heartbreak
spaces Now available!
flexible, goal-oriented processes designed to support, motivate, and guide you towards the best possible decisions for your future after divorce or a major breakup
The Emotional Stages of
Grief comes in many forms…it can feel like a betrayal
The seven stages of grief are:
Stage 1: Shock
During the shock phase, you may feel paralyzed and emotionless.
Stage 2: Denial
Grief is an overwhelming emotion. It’s not unusual to respond to the intense and often sudden feelings by pretending the loss or change isn’t happening. Denying it gives you time to more gradually absorb the news and begin to process it. This is a common defense mechanism and helps numb you to the intensity of the situation.
As you move out of the denial stage, however, the emotions you’ve been hiding will begin to rise. You’ll be confronted with a lot of sorrow you’ve denied. That is also part of the journey of grief, but it can be difficult.
Stage 3: Anger
Where denial may be considered a coping mechanism, anger is a masking effect. Anger is hiding many of the emotions and pain that you carry. This anger may be redirected at other people, such as the person who died, your ex, or your old boss. You may even aim your anger at inanimate objects.
While your rational brain knows the object of your anger isn’t to blame, your feelings in that moment are too intense to feel that.
Anger may mask itself in feelings like bitterness or resentment. It may not be clear-cut fury or rage. Not everyone will experience this stage, and some may linger here. As the Bargaining
Stage 4: Bargaining
During grief, you may feel vulnerable and helpless. In those moments of intense emotions, it’s not uncommon to look for ways to regain control or to want to feel like you can affect the outcome of an event. In the bargaining stage of grief, you may find yourself creating a lot of “what if” and “if only” statements.
It’s also not uncommon for religious individuals to try to make a deal or promise to God or a higher power in return for healing or relief from the grief and pain. Bargaining is a line of defense against the emotions of grief. It helps you postpone the sadness, confusion, or hurt.
Stage 5: Depression
Whereas anger and bargaining can feel very “active,” depression may feel like a “quiet” stage of grief.
In the early stages of loss, you may be running from the emotions, trying to stay a step ahead of them. By this point, however, you may be able to embrace and work through them in a more healthful manner. You may also choose to isolate yourself from others in order to fully cope with the loss.
That doesn’t mean, however, that depression is easy or well defined. Like the other stages of grief, depression can be difficult and messy. It can feel overwhelming. You may feel foggy, heavy, and confused.
Depression may feel like the inevitable landing point of any loss. However, if you feel stuck here or can’t seem to move past this stage of grief, talk with a mental health expert. A therapist can help you work through this period of coping.
Stage 6: Testing
Testing is where you begin to seek realistic solutions for coping with your loss and rebuilding your life.
Stage 7: Acceptance
Acceptance is not necessarily a happy or uplifting stage of grief. It doesn’t mean you’ve moved past the grief or loss. It does, however, mean that you’ve accepted it and have come to understand what it means in your life now.
You may feel very different in this stage. That’s entirely expected. You’ve had a major change in your life, and that upends the way you feel about many things. Look to acceptance as a way to see that there may be more good days than bad, but there may still be bad — and that’s OK.
Not everyone will experience all seven stages, and you may not go through them in this order.
(Reference: https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief#acceptance, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Modified Grief Cycle, https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/grief/understanding-the-stages-of-grief/)
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